5/1/08  The pressure on teens to fit in, be cool or popular is tremendous.    One of the most important developmental tasks of adolescence is identity formation.   Good communication in the home can help teens work through conflicts but sometimes the intense feelings, pressure and anxiety teens feel can be overwhelming.   When kids and teens don't effectively deal with all this one way to cope is by self mutilation. 
What is cutting?
 Cutting is a type of self injurious behavior that involves purposely making cuts on your body with a sharp object, enough to break the skin and make it bleed.  Cutting is not a suicidal behavior.  it is important to address cutting behaviors early because it can become addictive.  Cutting usually starts in adolescence.  Most individuals who cut ar femal, but males usually injure themselves more severely.  Cutting is primarily used to cope with what seems like overwhelming or distressing feelings. some of the reason self-injureres cut include:

1. Relieves intense feelings, pressure or anxiety.
2. Provides a sense of being real, being alive - of feelng something.
3. Externalizes emotional pain - pain is felt on the outside instead of the inside.
4. Draws attention to the need for help.

One of the biggest concerns with cutting today is that it has become a trendy and almost popular behavior.  students talk about it with each other, compare tehcniques, and discuss it as if it is a badge of honor. it is imperative that you talk to your chld about this (whether you think thye may be cutting or not) and discuss with them the severity of cutting.  Cutting is not cool, it is not popular and it is not something people will admire you for.  It is a serious way of harming yourself and cna have lsting effects and cause real damage.

What can you do to help?

It is very hard to realize that someone you care about is cutting.  your concern may come out in frustration or comments that can drive the person farther away.  People who are cutting may already feel isolated and depressed.  Do not tell the person to stop the behavior or make judgemental comments.  Let them know you care, encourage them to talk about their feelings, be willing to listen and get them some help.  Cutting is a serious issue - letting a parent or counselor know is important.

If you are th parent of a self-injuring child, prepare yoursel to address your family's difficulties with expression of feelings, as this is a common factor in self-injury - this is not about blame, but about a learning process that will help the entire family.

Where can I find additional information about this issue?
 www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm (good overview)
www.selfinjury.org (2002 informational resource)
www.kidshealth.org (teen site)

Important Note

Be creful when surfing the web for sites regarding self-injury.  Although they may mean well, many sites are triggering to the self-injurer and may excalate or even induce a cutting incident.  An individual who is close to  self-injuring should stay clear of triggers and surround themselves instead with positive, affirming people and material.


We work with children and adolescents who have these issues.  I would be happy to talk to you about this.  Please call me at 925-600-4818, 2#

Allison Decker, MA, Intern M.F.T.
Supervised by Mary Ruth Cross, M.S., M.F.T.